Life is hard. For real. Life is Hard. There are so many choices and decisions to make and there's never any way to know if what you're doing is even right. Is there even a 'right'? If there is I'm pretty sure I missed that part of Home Ec...
In my life I wear so many hats. I work a full time job, I am a mother of two, a dutiful wife, a personal chef (2 star at best), ridiculous PTO member ( I should probably apologize to the entire PTO), dish washer, toilet scrubber, laundry lady (why is there no machine to fold the stupid laundry???), I think you get my point here. Sometimes those roles can become so overwhelming that I'm not even sure which hat I'm supposed to be wearing that day... That's not a good feeling, trust me. Then you just end up scrubbing toilets when you're supposed to be in an important work meeting.
I think that life overwhelms us for a lot of reasons. If anyone out there is like me, then part of the problem is me. I have created a world of organized chaos for myself that can only succeed if I never ever ever forget anything.... ever... I have a tendency to overschedule my life and forget to pencil in time to breath. But how can there be time to breath when there is so much to do???? I mean, breathing is slightly overrated anyway, right??
But aside from the insane pressures I put on myself, there are also the pressures of the world weighing on my poor mommy shoulders (that are so tired from holding and hugging and snuggling and piggyback riding and god knows what else). This world expects nothing less than perfection from us, and that my friend is fucking impossible. Because if you can't do it all, and do it perfectly, then you are suddenly subject to this awful thing called Judgement. There is never a shortage of judgement to go around. If you don't know what I'm talking about then you've never been late for Mad Science Night at school, or never forgotten the extra pack of hotdogs you were supposed to pick up, or never stuffed a donut in your face while running into the next meeting, trying desperately to wipe the glaze off of you lips (I savored every moment of that one). If you do know what I'm talking about then you know all about the looks, the whispers, the tone of voice that no matter what words are coming our of their mouths, all you can hear is "YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH!"
Those are hard words to swallow when you genuinely feel like you're doing your best. When you're giving 500% and really just want a fucking nap.
Yea, life is hard.
But you know what?
It's also beautiful.
